5 Reasons Why Your Kid’s Birthday Party is Going to Suck (and How You Can Fix It)

“This party isn't very fun.”

The words hung in the air. What could I say? Last year’s party was EXTREME! Airbrush tattoos and pizza tossing contests. Everyone had a great time. This one was was supposed to be EPIC! After all, my son was turning the big "one-zero," double digits -- 10!

I had just spent two months of planning and a week of scrubbing toilets to get everything ready for his 12 best friends to join us for this monumental occasion. We had the perfect invites, the perfect cake, the perfect decorations, food, games, entertainment, yet none of it mattered.

This party sucked, and my son had no problems telling me and everyone else. 

photo: James Williams / flickr

"Me and my little brother just want to tell everyone how much this party sucks."

As of this post, my kids are 13, 10 and 8. Every birthday has been commemorated with a party, which means I now have 31 birthday parties under my belt. Some have been awesome, while others not so great. I've learned that the smallest details can mean the difference between pure joy and utter disaster. Today I'm sharing five common reasons why your child’s birthday party is probably going to suck -- and what you can do to fix it.
Reason #1: No time is ever the right time. 

Your kid’s birthday is on a Tuesday this year. Do you celebrate on the day of, or plan for the weekend? Your son wants his party at the laser tag place but their only available opening is on Sunday. What do you do?
When you’re dealing with a potentially large group of friends, no time is going to be perfect for everyone. Church, sports, dance, visits to grandma, and other family obligations have a way of ensuring that. When hosting the younger crowd, it’s possible most of those you invite won’t be able to make it. If you get half of those you invited to show, you’re doing pretty good. (more on this later)
 
The Fix: Pick and time and hope for the best. No matter what day of the week my kid's actual birthday lands on, I like hosting birthday parties with their friends on Saturday late-morning or early-afternoon. This usually means including some type of lunch, but lunch foods are easy. Pizza, hot dogs, burgers and chips are sure winners for most kids parties.

Don’t count on anyone in particular to be there. If there’s a best friend that is essential to your child’s enjoyment of their special day, talk to their parents to coordinate the date well in advance.
Reason #2: Children are unpredictable. 

Despite all your planning, something’s going to go wrong. Your child might be in a grumpy mood and not interested in having any fun, as was the case for my son on his 10th birthday.
Anytime you’re hosting two or more kids in addition to your own three, chances are, someone at sometime is going to throw a tantrum. If you’re lucky it’s going to be just one.

photo: loungerie / flickr 

It's okay. Even successful birthday parties can be marked by a crying fit or two.

The Fix: When your kids are young (1-3,) plan the party mostly for the parents in attendance. Take pictures, because chances are your child is not going to remember it. For younger kids (4-6,) it’s okay to plan the entirety of the party yourself. You probably know what your kid can handle better than them. With older kids, it’s fair (and wise) to give them input on their birthday party.

When things go wrong (and they will,) roll with the punches. Keep a positive mindset and remember the day won’t last forever. Smile.

Reason #3:  It’s going to cost a fortune.
 
Everything costs more than you’d expect.

Chase wanted temporary tattoos for his party. When I checked rates with people locally that provided the service, It was looking at spending over $300 for someone to come to my house for two hours. He also wanted a bounce house with slide (another $150) and a slushie machine. Sorry dude, we can't do it all.

Sometimes my kids will suggest having a birthday party at somewhere that the budget just won’t allow for. When the amusement park charges $50 for each guest, inviting the entire class is out of the question.

photo: kshilcutt on  flickr

"Sorry Ralph. Maybe we shouldn't have spent our whole budget on the bouncy house."

The Fix: Start early on with a budget and plan accordingly. Start talking to your kids a couple months before their birthday and find out what ideas they have. Do you want a big party at home with lots of guests or would you rather invite a couple of closer friends to join you on an outing? It’s okay to let your child know you have a budget you’re working with.

Getting prepared for a home party can be a lot more work than having a birthday party at a venue where you can leave the setup to others. Planning early will gives you more options. 

Dad Tip: Be resourceful! Chase wanted airbrush tattoos for his guests but hiring a professional service was out of our budget. I found an airbrush gun, tattoo ink, and stencil books on Amazon and a family friend volunteeredas “tattoo artist” for the party. The kids loved taking turns in the tattoo chair. The total cost was lower than hiring a professional, and we are able to use the equipment again in the future.

I found other tips written by Maya on the Art of Simple blog on how to have a simple, and meaningful birthday for your child while remaining within a limited budget. Her post is a great reminder that you don't have to go overboard to make it a special day. 
 
Reason #4: Kids can be rude and so can other parents.

I appreciate when parents text me to let me know their child is coming or that they won't be able to attend. It helps me plan to have enough food and prizes for everyone. This is particularly helpful when the birthday involves an outside venue that is expecting a headcount for the festivities.

You might plan for a dozen kids and only one or two friends show up -- or worse, as MommieKerrie's writes about on her blog -- nobody shows at all. Read her post-- No Kids Came to His Birthday Party -- and I Don't Appreciate It! -- for a good perspective on the subject.

Another scenario is when everyone shows up and they bring their brothers, sisters and cousins when you expected a small crowd. I always put my cell number on invitations so other parents can call or text me, but even still, I typically only hear from about a fourth of the invitees in advance. A similar amount of invitees show up without RSVP'ing. Unless you’re close acquaintances with all the parents of your kid’s friends, don’t expect much from the RSVP process.

As for the kids? Kids will be kids. You can't prevent other kids from being rude. Someone isn't going to like the activities you planned, someone else doesn't like the food you’re offering, while another is angry that they can’t spend the night after the party. What do you do?
 

photo: plasticrevolver / flickr

Never assume any amount of planning can prevent this.

The Fix: Roll with the punches. Focus on the end time and count down the minutes until this fiasco is over. Above all, keep your cool. Never rely on RSVP's. Plan to have enough food and drinks to accommodate double the amount of guests you expect to have; between hungry parents and unexpected guests, you’re better to plan for having leftovers than running out of refreshments too early in the party.

Reason #5: Lame gifts. 

My daughter suggested I add this one, and she’s right. I’ll never forget the time my friend threw a tantrum after receiving a t-shirt as a birthday gift. Kids often have very specific interests and expectations for gifts. Gracelyn is an animal lover. She loves animal toys but has never liked dolls or babies. Most of her friends know this about her, but there have been times she’s received Barbie dolls as a gift. Bless her heart for avoiding a potentially awkward moment and always receiving with a smile and thank you.

photo: Paul Schultz / flickr

Tip: Have your child wear sunglasses while opening presents to hide their inevitable disappointment.

The Fix: Talk to kids in advance about being thankful and polite when they receive gifts, even if they don’t like it. Remind them that gifts you don’t want can be traded for things you like, or re-gifted to others.

Wrapping It Up

Don’t forget, this day is supposed to be about your kid. Not you. Every kid wants to feel special on their day, and that’s their right. Realize in advance that things might not always go smoothly and don’t let little annoyances like these get you frustrated. Having a positive mindset can really help in this situation. Kids remember their birthdays, and as their dad, it falls on you to make the day a positive memory for you and them.

What birthday party stories and tips do you have? Let's talk! Leave me a comment in the space below.